Services

All of our CESSNAB compounds are happy to offer a wide variety of happiness-enhancing snacks, merchandise, and entertainment. When you are a CESSNAB Crusader you are entitled to our entire line of CESSNAB t-shirts, jeans, hats, blankets, and keychains. CESSNAB also offers an entire snack bar of whatever food you should desire, so long as you desire vanilla smoothies and french fries. The CESSNAB bowling alley offers a unique bowling experience, specially designed to increase your happiness.

In addition to increasing your happiness, CESSNAB also promises to increase your health and wellness. We are of the firm belief that only people who want to get sick actually get sick. Anyone may think him or herself well if he or she wants to. Just remember our wellness mantra: I am special; special people don't die.

For recreation, CESSNAB offers an arcade full of games such as Extreme Self-Esteem Builder! and How Awesome are You?

Our Library offers an entire range of the book Don't Hurt Your Happiness.